It’s understandable to turn to your partner for comfort, companionship, adventure, and help through stressful times. But when one person is expected to meet every need, it can put immense pressure on the relationship—and leave both people with too little support elsewhere.

A healthy relationship isn’t made up of two halves trying to become whole. It’s a connection between two individuals who share their lives while also maintaining a sense of who they are beyond the relationship.

When your partner is your only social outlet, your identity can begin to blur. Who are you when you’re not “the girlfriend” or “the husband”? What interests, friendships, and sources of support are yours?

Friendships don’t replace your partner or diminish the importance of your relationship. They help create a wider support network, so neither of you has to carry everything alone. Friends can offer fresh perspectives, shared interests, and support shaped by different experiences and personalities. They can also give you opportunities to practise communication and work through disagreements in relationships beyond your romantic one.

Strong friendships can help you:

• Ease the pressure on your relationship
• Gain new perspectives
• Maintain a sense of individual identity
• Build support for difficult times

I’m writing this with men especially in mind, although women can also find themselves relying on a partner for nearly all their connection and support. One statistic that stands out is that one in four Australian men report having no close friends. In my work, I meet many men who fall into that group and rely on their partner to meet almost all their emotional and social needs. That arrangement can be hard on both people, and it isn’t sustainable for a relationship.

Healthy relationships need connection, but they also need a degree of separateness and independence. Having friendships outside your partnership isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s one way to build a fuller life—and to show up more present and supported in the relationship you value.

Ask yourself: If you and your partner faced an emergency and you couldn’t turn to them for support, who would be in your support network?

Don’t wait for a crisis to reach out. Text that friend today.

If building friendships feels difficult, start small: reconnect with someone you’ve lost touch with, make time for a regular activity, or reach out to someone you’d like to know better. A wider support network is built one conversation at a time.